Doubt Kills

Okay guys, real talk for a minute.


So. Freaking. True. Suzy nailed it, man. She freaking nailed it.

I had an experience today that I want to tell you all about. Why? Because I know for a FACT that I’m not the only one who finds this happening to themselves on occasion. Therefore, I’m not the only one who could benefit from the pep talk I received on the matter.

Here’s what went down. Blake and I went to the zoo today with a dear friend of mine and her two little boys. At one point we were sitting and talking after the boys had just rode on the carousel and my friend asked me, “So, can I ask what your announcement is that you’re going to be making in a few days?” (Some Background: I had just posted a photo on insta and mentioned that I’d be making an announcement soon that I was super excited about.)

As soon as she asked me that question, I felt embarrassed. I looked at her, feeling almost ashamed, and said, “Oh, I’m just starting a blog…It’s nothing big.” Like, all of a sudden I just gave in to my fear and hesitation all over again! It didn’t stop there. She even asked about it with genuine interest. “Cool, what’s it going to be about?” she wanted to know. And again, I stood there, throwing an internal pity party for myself, and said, “Oh, well, just about my family and maybe some encouraging thoughts along the way. I also want to talk about motherhood…?” I felt so stupid telling an experienced mother of two young boys that I, a new mom with little to no experience and just a 5 month old baby, wanted to give encouraging words about my “experience” on motherhood.

Just picture this – a little, red devil standing on my shoulder, whispering into my ear and telling me, “You’re not good enough for this.” “You have nothing to offer to that audience.” “You don’t know the first thing about motherhood.” “You really think you are going to encourage people with some dinky, meaningless blog.” And I’m just standing there, saying to myself… “Why did I ever think I could do this!?”

I felt puny and worthless. Now, let me point out that my sweet friend was not behind this pity party in the slightest. No. All the credit for this one goes straight to self-doubt, fear, and that little devil on my shoulder; Satan himself. It took the rest of the night for me to mull that moment over in my mind and think about what I had felt. Thanks to my rock star husband, I was talked off the ledge, yet again, for pulling the plug on writing this blog. I told him what had happened and how I made myself feel and he knocked some sense back into me.

So now, I’m sitting here trying to get my thoughts down about this as quick as I can because I’ve realized something big: I am a prisoner to my doubts. When I hold onto that overbearing weight of fear, self-pity, and self-doubt, I prevent myself from making any of my dreams a reality. I get in my own way. Then I remembered the quote at the top by Suzy Kassem, “doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” I’m so sick of letting that little devil on my shoulder stop me from being happy, successful, or even helpful.


Please remember that you can seriously do anything you put your mind to! God has blessed each and every one of us with gifts and talents (even if we deny that we have anything to offer). Most importantly, He has given each of us His infinite love. When I think of that, I feel so much comfort (almost like a-snuggy-and-cup-of-hot-chocolate kind of comfort, but way better). I feel like I can do anything when I remember that the creator of the Heavens and the Earth is on my side. He’s Team Sam, so why aren’t I?

I know, I know – we are all our own worst critics. But I want to take a moment to tell you… I BELIEVE IN YOU. I believe that you should chase after your dreams. I believe that you can actually achieve them, too. I believe that whatever experience or gift you can bring to the table, no matter how teeny tiny it may seem, is enough. It’s enough, because you are enough.

I am brutally aware that this blog might end up being terribly unpopular. It might only amount to having a total reading population of two: my mom and my husband. But, I’m not going to let that stop me. I know that I’m not the only one who feels worthless or ill-equipped at times. We’re human; we all feel that way at one point or another. But I am also gratefully aware that I’m actually not a worthless person, and I do have things to offer. I can offer what I know to be true. I can offer my own experiences and lessons learned to others who might be in the same boat. If I were a gambling gal, I’d bet a few of you could relate pretty darn well to some of my failures.

When Drew was cheering me up, he said something that I want you all to hear too. He said, “if you downplay what this [blog] means to you, then of course no one is going to be excited about it.” He reminded me that people love what other people are passionate about. He reminded me that I have a light and a happiness inside me that I can give to others. Your light shines through to others and it’s contagious! Then I remembered a scripture that reinforced why I know that I’m following the right dream.

“…Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. ” Matthew 25:40

I hope to reach you guys. I hope I can get through to you that you’re not alone in this trial we call LIFE. I know that if I can uplift just one other person; I will have done my part in making this world a better place. If I can just get one reader out there who is feeling small, insignificant, or like they don’t have enough to give, to feel a little glimmer of hope and purpose – then I will have hit the jackpot. I will have done the Lord’s work.

We have to support each other, you guys. We have to tell each other how good we’re doing and to keep it up, because every person you see has a little devil on their shoulder telling them to give up.

We can’t give up. Don’t give up – on yourself or your dreams.

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