How am I doing on those resolutions I made almost two and a half months ago, you ask? Well, do you want an honest answer? Of course you do…
Terrible. The answer is terrible.
This always happens doesn’t it? We set these super high goals for ourselves and we even think we really will reach them. We have all this motivation to accomplish things we always seem to fall short of accomplishing. We hold ourselves to this standard that never fully comes to be obtained. Why do we do this?
Maybe you’re thinking, “Yeah! Why do we do this?! Resolutions are pointless!”
I’ll tell you why we do this.
We set goals because it pushes us to be better. We set goals because it gives us, if nothing else, the chance to sit down and THINK about what it is we want to become; how we want to improve. It gives us the chance to give ourselves some much needed self-love and take a moment to realize where we used to be, where we are now, and where we want to go.
Don’t be discouraged when you set a goal to clean the house every Tuesday only to find yourself on a Saturday just now tackling the horror that is cleaning the bathrooms. Don’t wallow in self-pity when you say you’re going to workout three times this week, but instead you have to work late so you come home, eat dinner, and just crawl into bed. Don’t worry if you look back at your list of resolutions that you set for yourself only to find that its now Mid-March and you can maybe only halfway cross off ONE item (ME).
Instead, look yourself in the mirror right now and try to see what I see. Try to see the effort. Try to see the fight in your eyes. I see you. I see that there is a real person in there. Living a real MEANINGFUL life. I see someone who wakes up each day and achieves so much. The little things are what make us great. Waking up in the morning. Feeding our families. Feeding ourselves! Working day in and day out at that job that feels like is eating you alive. Paying the bills that never stop coming. Skipping your lunch break because you have to get off a little early for your daughter’s dance recital tonight. You are achieving so very much from the moment you wake up. And I see that.
Fighting through another day of whatever it is you’re experiencing is a HUGE achievement. I’m serious. I know you probably feel like that’s not enough. Or you know you can do better. To that I say, you can do better. Of course you can do better. WE CAN ALL DO BETTER. But just because we didn’t do EVERYTHING, does not mean we didn’t do enough. I’ll say that again.
Just because we didn’t do everything, does not mean we didn’t do enough.
I’m here to tell you that even if you can halfway cross off one item on your list that you wanted to achieve, improve, or quit doing – then you are doing so much better than you think you are.
I’ll admit it, when I look back at my list of resolutions, I do feel a bit defeated. I do think to myself, “Dang it, Sam, get your crap together and accomplish something!” And then, maybe not immediately, but eventually, I pick myself up and I get to work on one of those things. If I have a free moment and Blake is contently playing by herself or napping, then I’ll try to read my scriptures or one of the book’s I said I would read more. Maybe I’ll throw some workout clothes on really quick and bust out a 30-minute living room workout. Or maybe I don’t have any time for those things so instead, I try to serve someone whose been on my mind by reaching out with a simple “Thinking of you, how have you been?” text. Then I carry on with the rest of my sometimes crazy and chaotic, or sometimes lazy and unmotivated day hoping that tomorrow I can be a little better.
I just don’t want you to give up. Just don’t do it. Because we are all out here fighting the good fight and I really want you by my side in all of this. Don’t let Satan win by pulling you down and making you feel like your goals are hopeless or like you’re not good enough. Because you are good enough. You are a good mom, a good dad, a good spouse, a good friend, a good sibling, a good daughter, a good son, a good coworker, a good neighbor, a good stranger. YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON. Even when you don’t feel like it.
So, sure, I might look back at my 2018 so far and think, “Wow, you’re failing hardcore, Sam.” Or, I could look back and think about all of the things I HAVE accomplished that weren’t on my list! Like how I feel I’ve bettered my relationship with both of my sisters. Or how I have been able to start a part-time job to help our little family save some extra money. Or even the glorious accomplishment of getting my now 8-month old daughter to finally eat baby food! *cue happy dance*
All I’m saying is that we are our own worst critics. We don’t let ourselves readily see the many accomplishments and valiant efforts we make day in and day out. We just don’t give ourselves nearly enough credit. And we have got to stop that (myself included)!
While I do not think you should stop making New Year Resolutions or stop setting goals for yourselves, I DO think we should gain an understanding of the enabling power that setting such goals can give us. Do not measure your failures with such a list. Measure your desires. Measure your ambitions. Measure your dreams. And recognize that we change, we improve, we develop every single day. So your list may no longer apply. So just make a new one. Adjust accordingly.
Pick yourself up, adjust your crown, and carry on!